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The two sides of releasing a relationship are when you need to leave and when your partner needs to leave.

This article looks at the two sides of breaking up in relationships.

When Your Partner Leaves

Occasionally we get a call where a person is trying to fix a broken relationship beyond repair. Where one person is left holding the ghost of another soul.

No single answer can truly give the person what their heart most yearns for… true love from a person who truly has left.

People look for answers, answers to explain everything… But at times the answers found can never be complete or worse really are never full. No answer I can write could force or bring back another person who truly has left. Worse all answers feel hollow since all the person has left is the void left behind by their lost love.

To those who have truly lost their love or partner, it isn’t possible to get them back in guilt, tears, bleeding hearts, holding old memories nor torn bits of soul… All these methods create false stories that erode quickly with time. Answering your loss in this manner frames a life to be doomed in embracing emptiness.

Until the time they choose to come back of their own heart, you must take care of yourself, must work to becoming stronger and finding personal answers how best to move ahead with your life. No answers will makes the next steps easier, but you still must take the steps to move ahead. Live with those who do care and find a life your heart can embrace so even if they don’t come back you have a life worth living. Don’t ever punish yourself for the other person leaving and don’t lash out in hate or pain since this only reflects back to wound your own heart.

At times pain is the answer that is left to us.

At times we must face that pain
to not embrace but to rather release that pain
so we can move beyond it.

No “one” answer removes the pain of this situation. So then release it with small steps, in small bits, like crumbs to decay with time. I can tell a person to move ahead, and to rebuild a better life, a better life because you make it your own life. This answer isn’t dependent on your former partner and it is the answer you must follow, because no matter what other people may do, this answer at least helps you live a better life. More importantly, this gives a person something to embrace eventually: themselves.

At the time of loss, this answer is the hardest one of all to accept since it does feel the emptiest. As the person can’t feel their own soul yet.

But this is the path of healing, a healing release…

Release in the end is the only answer that truly works for all.

Release opens up the possibility other people can come back freely. However, more importantly release is also the only answer that gives you your own freedom to live your life without pain.

Here is the secret to making it all work:
Release and how to live to that release will be a series of hundreds of smaller answers you cobble together over a period of a few years… that creates a new life.

Release in the end isn’t a single answer, but countless smaller steps… that become your life. A New and whole life.

You won’t see it now, but if you walk this path, you will come to a new point, a new life with wholeness that you will accept as a good life again.

So the truth is, it doesn’t matter who leaves first in a relationship. Each person has the right to veto a relationship. Once one person leaves, the other person should respond in kind to make the separation process kind. So this leads naturally into our next section of the article.

When You Need to Leave

Learning how to release is a powerful tool to help a person reorganize their life. By definition a relationship is to resist release.  As a result it’s hard to release a relationship, when a relationship has reached its natural separation point. This contradiction causes all sorts of problems. All too many people breaking up use negative habits to break their relationship in a harmful manner. This type of break up causes all sorts of spiritual problem later to resolve in life.

There is a much better way to do this all: Focus the relationship back to friendship and use kindness(Essence) to guide your steps.

The Process of Letting Go

Relationships evolve over time. A bad relationship is when the needs within the relationship have changed but the relationship itself is stuck in older patterns. If a relationship doesn’t change over time to fit those involved: then either the people inside will be unhappy or over the longer term the relationship will break.

As a result I teach how to release misconceptions holding back or harming the relationship.

The process of release is tricky. People often think they only have to release one thing… Yet most times release is a larger process of releasing several co-dependent factors. This is why release is difficult. If you don’t release fully, then other hidden problems will surface and seemingly drag you back to the original problem.

Lets look at a specific example of when a relationship is experiencing a break up. Breaking up is of course an extreme form of release.